Having a healthy love life while keeping your grades up means having to be able to juggle studying with an active social life. Most of the time, keeping this balance can be stressful and its worth in the long run is often debated.
However, 63% of Twitter poll participants say that having a relationship during college is worth it.
“In many ways, it’s great to have someone to care for, have someone to keep you in check and to be loved by someone,” said Mercedes Anaya, a junior psychology major. “But, we’re young and there’s so many possibilities and people out there. I’d say just be young, be you and have all the fun you want.”
“People make connections at all different stages in their lives, so I don’t think it really matters the time you connect with someone. Yeah I do think they’re worth it,” said Abby Martin, a sophomore biology major.
To help both the optimistic and those who want to give up, here is some advice on how to balance a relationship with school:
If the two of you are both in college, it’s important to make it clear how available you are and how you need to spend your time, whether it be studying, working or even time alone. Each of you have different needs, and it’s important that you lay that out on the table so everyone is on the same page. The same goes for if your partner is not in college. Let them know ahead of time that you may not be able to spend as much time with them as you would want to.
It might be a good idea to share your schedules. Because you’re both busy, you should let each other know what your schedules look like. This way, you can be aware of when your partner has class or study time. This is also a good way to find time to spend together when you can, especially since being away from your partner for too long can be hard. Check in and schedule visits within reason. Don’t sacrifice study time.
This can go hand-in-hand with scheduling alone time. Don’t depend too much on your partner as this can add stress and strain to your relationship. Make sure to spend time in your own friend groups and find things to do without your partner. Don’t center your entire identity on your partner. College is a time of learning and self-discovery, and if you aren’t careful, you and your partner can prevent that from happening for each other.
“I feel like once you first get into college, you really shouldn’t try to focus on a relationship,” said Breona Simons, a sophomore psychology major. “You should try to focus on getting acclimated to college because it’s such a big life transition from living at home in high school… but I do feel that, if you meet someone along the way of your college career, once you have found yourself… it’s okay, and if that relationship is healthy then I agree with it.”
Find time to study, even if it means not hanging out like you want to. This can be a hard decision to make, but everyone in college is attending to get a degree and is paying for an education. It isn’t worth it if you don’t invest the time. However, if you and your partner are good at staying on task together, it could be a good idea to study together. This could involve doing flash cards together or just studying different things in the same room. Sometimes just keeping each other company is helpful.
“[It] takes a lot of work, especially if you don’t live in the same spot,” said TJ Kiley, a senior finance major. “You definitely gotta be the right kind of person to have a relationship in college… [you] constantly have somebody to keep you under control, make sure you’re on task.”
College can be hard, but you’re both in a position to understand each other’s situation with enough communication. It’s important to accommodate each other and provide emotional support if needed. This can help both of you get through college and life a little easier.
Balancing your needs can help you achieve happiness and success in multiple areas of your life. However, it takes practice, which may mean some breakups and trial and error. It is perfectly alright if you decide that having a college relationship is something you can’t do. At the end of the day, you should work to be the best version of yourself and be as happy as you can.
If you have any more tips or advice you’d like to add, comment below!