June 21, 2012 I began my journey at Georgia Southern University. The school in which I knew very little about, the one which was far from my first choice and honestly wasn’t too excited about attending. Nevertheless, I had no choice, but to go and make the best of what I had been dealt. EIP definitely was the necessary head-start and experience that I needed to succeed at GSU. It gave me and others an edge unlike those coming in August.

What I didn’t know then, that I do know now, is the vital role this university, classmates, friends, Statesboro and this community would have in developing me into such the man I am today. I arrived on campus a true introvert. I, Jamar A. Boyd, II, was self-absorbed, timid, constantly nervous, a little fearful, overly secretive and even uncertain of myself. However, when my name is called on May 7, 2016 I will walk across that stage as a true representation of me. A strong African American man, minister, activist, leader, mentor, game changer and world changer – removed of the unnecessary which consumed me upon my arrival.

When I reflect over the last four years a wide array of emotions consume my body. Regret, sorrow, relief, joy, pain, loneliness, happiness, content and satisfaction. I think that describes it all. What this is not, is not an article, piece or note reflecting upon the decisions made over the course of my undergraduate tenure, but an anecdote of reflection on a place I underestimated. A place I underestimated on my initial research. An institution I underestimated on my initial tour. A university I underestimated my first two years as an enrolled student.

Why did I underestimate Georgia Southern? A question that has far too many answers for this piece and may even stretch my intentions for writing this into another direction. What I can and will say is, Georgia Southern University and Statesboro have shown me how to face all things with optimism. “Going forward in faith, humility and optimism” is the motto I took for my life in 2015. It’s derived from the numerous experiences throughout my childhood, desired and dreaded conversations with my mother, the constant love delivered by my grandparents, the importance and vitality of my Christian faith in my life, the role of the church, community and service to the full functioning of my being, the impactful presence of my spiritual fathers and the ambitions and desires I have set for myself. I had no choice and have no choice, but to embrace faith, humility and optimism.

Georgia Southern University, thank you. Thank you for the many defeats and victories along the way, which have proven necessary to who I am and am becoming. Thank you, for blessing me with a community of family and friends who I cherish now and will for a lifetime. Thank you, for professors and staff who became mentors and even friends along the way. Thank you, for giving me the ability to embrace my gift of being a follower and too a leader and voice. Thank you, for allowing me to share my opinion through interviews and writing. Georgia Southern University, thank you for embracing a boy in 2012 and aiding in the development of a man who will graduate with a Bachelor of Science in Sport Management and a minor in Business on May 7, 2016. Thank you, because I can’t sincerely form the words to compliment and solidify the necessity of Georgia Southern, Statesboro and these last four years in my life.

Yes, tears may flow from my eyes, as they do now, as the moments of reflection continue. Tears may flow from my eyes as I converse with friends and recollect on the moments that inspired us to embrace the gifts within us. Tears may flow as I rejoice over the moments of victory and even defeat. Tears may flow as I speak with my family and surrogate family on the importance they played and play in my success. Tears may flow as I prepare for the long awaited day of May 7, 2016. And tears sho-nuff will flow when I finally get a chance alone, after it’s all done, with the Good Lord above and tell him, “Thank you.”

“When one is able to come into the discovery and acceptance of their purpose, one can truly begin to live on purpose. And that is what I’ve done. I’ve chosen to embrace the visions seen and desire gifted. I, not anyone else, have chosen to fulfill MY God ordained purposed and live a life that will be deemed worthy by He alone. So, my friends, live not for me or another, but for your father and creator.” – Jamar A. Boyd, II

– J.B.II

This past summer I had the blessed privilege to intern in Charleston, SC. A city which I love and find much beauty in. The unique architecture, people, the low country and more. However, it’s an area which possesses a history that spans generations. One which is still noticed and honored with street names and statutes, but to a fault. The heritage and history of the majority is celebrated and honored, while the horrors of the minority are still present.

Yes, the city of Charleston is historic, but to a fault. There lies Calhoun St., after a Confederate General, while the market is comprised of the stations used to sell incoming slaves. Yes, Mother Emanuel AME lies in a prominent area of downtown, but just a few blocks behind lies the neglected “hood” of Charleston. History celebrated to a fault.

Every year conservatives, liberals, those within the minority, some in the majority, the uneducated, the uniformed, Uncle Toms and more make the idiotic and illogical statement, “there should be no black history month.” Leaving me with the response, “so you’re okay with celebrating white history 365, 366 this year, days a year?” Hmm…

Black History Week and now month was not established to solely learn about the history of African Americans, but celebrate them. Those who came here against their will, slaved day and night, raised other folks’ children while their families were divided, reformed Christianity, developed a language which could not be understood, pinned hymns and I could go on and on. But, you have a problem with Black History Month?

It’s those nigras, negroes, niggers, niggas, blacks, coloreds, Afro-Americans and now African Americans who established a greatness and excellence in this country which cannot be duplicated. Many have tried, but have failed every time. It’s African American women who bore their own children and raised the children of their masters. Not only that, but taught their wives how to cook, sew, care for their ill children, were often called mama or mammy and I could continue, but I won’t. It’s those black men who defied the odds.

After, being beaten, humiliated and persecuted they continued to fight. They discovered ways to read and write and ensure the others would become educated. It’s those black men and women who developed hymns and songs which looked to the future of freedom and the Promised Land. It’s those great black men who purged into the mere depths of scripture and developed a delivery and genius of homiletics which cannot be imitated, but is admired. It’s by the sweat of their brow and the intensity of their labor a unique people of God stand today.

I believe in my heart of hearts African Americans to be a people blessed by God Almighty. A people who’ve experienced persecution since the very beginning, but each and every time have formed greatness. A people which date back to Egypt and Cleopatra, not Elizabeth Taylor, a people who are highlighted in scripture, but often ignored to satisfy the ideas of one side; a people who have continually defied the odds of society. But, you have a problem with Black History Month? If you look back into your own family’s history, you might be surprised how much of an influential impact they had.

You see, African Americans have, do and will continue to make this nation great. Those such as Harriet Tubman and Sojourner Truth – black women who defied the odds. Louis Armstrong, Langston Hughes, Nat King Cole, Maya Angelou – blacks who changed poetry and music. Shirley Chisholm, Thurgood Marshall, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr. – blacks who changed American politics. Booker T. Washington, W.E.B Du Bois, Mary McLeod Bethune, E.V. Wilkins – blacks who changed education. C.H. Mason Patterson, Richard Allen, Gardner C. Taylor, F.D. Washington, C.L. Franklin, G.E. Patterson, Arthur Brazier, Samuel Dewitt Proctor and Elijah Muhammad – blacks who changed Christianity, religion and expanded the greatness of the black church. I could expound further, but I’ll cease.

I can’t continue without stating the fact we even established our own institutes of higher education, which still stand tall today. Whose bands develop a unique high grade of musical excellence and perform in 7-12 minutes better than any mainstream artist. Institutions that have produced the nations and world’s best advocates, doctors, educators, lawyers, preachers and servants. Institutions that include, but are not limited to Alabama A&M, Alabama State, Bowie State University, Grambling University, Florida A&M University, Southern University, Hampton University, Howard University, Morehouse College, Spelman College, North Carolina A&T, Clark Atlanta, Morris College, Claflin University, South Carolina State University, Paine College, Tuskegee University, Johnson C. Smith and North Carolina Central University among others. Yes, it’s called black excellence.

The fact of the matter is Black History Month is needed and black history is American history. The inadequate materials in our schools regarding the contributions of African Americans is disturbing. We are more than slaves, Civil Rights activist and whatever else we’re shallowly highlighted as. It’s time to celebrate a people and honor a people who have, from day one, never been given our due justice. To dispute such would be a lie and disservice. This truth is evident day after day through our policies and politics.

President Barack H. Obama, our President – elected twice, of the United States of America is a living example. One who’s accomplished great feats, but has been denied more due to the color of his skin. A party who fights him left and right, calls him every name, but a child of God, denies healthcare to many, opportunities for quality education and cringes every time race comes about and calls it “race baiting.” A party which has presidential candidates using slogans, “Make America Great Again,” and calling him a terrorist, evil and the great divider, but ignore their own dividing and hateful contributions. While we continually fight policies which give blacks and minorities a considerable disadvantage in education, the workforce and just about every avenue of life.

So, this year how about this…embrace Black History Month. Stop telling black folk to get over slavery, stop calling all black men thugs and discretely (so you think) displaying prejudice against a people. It’s time you and this nation accept the fact black people have contributed greatly to this nation. We’ve developed the stop light, cell phone, household appliances – heck discovered peanuts and performed the first open heart surgery. There’s a greatness and uniqueness that’s within us to celebrated and even mimicked, although never imitated correctly or duplicated accurately.

My black is beautiful and so is yours.

– J.B.II

About Jamar:

“May your eyes look forward and your gaze be straight before you. May the path of your foot be balanced and all your ways be sure.” – Proverbs 4:25-26

Life is a never ending journey and you never know what lies ahead. There will be trials and tribulations, joys and triumphs, pain and sorrow, the unexpected, the hope and prayed for and the undeniable and unworthy favor of God. The key in all things is to look forward.

The past few months have shown me that faith, humility and optimism are needed to go forward in life. Many times we set ourselves back when we put faith in man, allow pride to overtake us and stay stuck in tunnel vision. Nevertheless, God’s grace and mercy allows us another chance to go forward and realize our hope lies in Him.

I do not know the trial or test you’re going into, are in, or coming out of, but I do know you must look forward. The key in all tests and trials is to focus your heart and mind on the Lord and put full faith in His plan. Some of you have been going through what seems like the same test for an extended period of time and are wondering why. You ask yourself, why must this continue? Have I not done enough? Has this not lingered enough? But, maybe you haven’t asked the right question. Have you asked the Lord, how can this strengthen me? Show me what it is I need to do? How can I bless someone else, while I’m going through? The question is, have you allowed worry and selfishness to overtake you in your trial?

There are many instances in scripture of individuals who endure tests, trials and seemingly unbearable circumstances. However, it’s when they turned it over fully to the Lord, allowed humility to flow and looked ahead to the greatness that was to come when true breakthrough occurred. I’m sure many of you know the story of Job, we’ve highlighted here many times the story of the Shunammite woman and her son, the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and the list could go on and on. The keys in all of those situations was faith, humility and optimism.

Job is one we’re all familiar with. He was faithful enough to know that God was going to bring Him through. His friends had the audacity to accuse him of doing wrong and said he must’ve brought his sickness upon himself and should repent. However, Job states in chapter 13 verses 15-18, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him. He also shall be my salvation, for a hypocrite could not come before Him. Listen carefully to my speech, And to my declaration with your ears. See now, I have prepared my case, I know that I shall be vindicated.” This indicates the faith and optimism Job possessed, later in the story we’re told how he prayed for his friends which displayed his humility, and in the end Job received double for His trouble.

I want you to remember, remind yourself, and never forget God is with you. It doesn’t matter what the situation is, how people have mistreated you, the lies that are being told, the mistake(s) you’ve made, God is with you. Never feel as though you’re alone and you’re too bad for Christ. Christ didn’t come for the ones who have it all together, but for sinners like you and me. I don’t know about you, but I’m glad to know I have a Father in God and a Savior in His Son Jesus Christ. Seek Him sincerely, allow Him to come into your heart, allow the Holy Spirit to guide you and strive daily to do better than before. I love you all so very much and I count knowing you as a blessing. I thank God each day for how many brothers, sisters, and friends and the more I have through Him. I love you and have a blessed weekend. 

– J.B.II

About Jamar:

In the beginning, we are shaped, molded even, into this one being, assigned with morals that are usually passed on to us by our guardians. During this journey, we are cautioned to never cross the boundaries of separating from the pre-inflicted ideologies.

My nearest and dearest friends are often the ones who jam out at music festivals, let the moment take them on a ride while enhancing their vibes with the toxins of this world. Four years into this college jungle and I have yet to step foot into these trips they travel. These moments were never the moments I wanted, but I grew fond of the free spirited people.

Same time, same place. It took me a while, and of course there’s ample intervals to improve this concept of coexisting. Or basically being able to live and unite with so many people even though we may not share the same values.

 I want to start out by saying, every single time I’ve chosen peace, the effects were nothing short of positive and self-sustaining. I often hear about the separation of families and friends simply, yet harshly because of the differences on politics and more deeply, religious views.  

What’s right to put into our bodies?

What’s right to take out?

The order in which things go have always kept me stumbling. It took me a while to realize that more than one thing has its place on earth, and me turning down the millionth cigarette doesn’t make me better than anyone else.

So I clutched towards the insanely deep conversations I’ve had with friends who may not know what they want, but are aware of what they don’t want. The atheist that I may never understand. My male friends with male lovers. My persistently angry father. Conflict exists but you do not have to live in it, and letting peace win does not mean that you’ve surrendered to someone else’s mindset. 

Coexisting constantly alarms me of improvement, purpose and the development of new relationships. It’s brought peace into my life and my God if you’ve never felt peace you’re missing out on an enriched world. When I started to view everything and everyone as “important,” I began to appreciate more. I myself am able to receive and digest judgement because now looking from the inside out, I understand where judgement comes from. I understand fear and that taking risk are scary. Taking people under your wing and making them yours opens the door for labeling and categorization.

There’s an overflow of people who need connections with others who will simply love them and experience this life that we all have. I’m always overwhelmed with gratefulness to be able to live this way. Coexisting and loving without constraints has completely changed my life.

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxury. Without those humanity cannot survive”-Dalai Lama

About DeAmber:

I’m DeAmber J Patterson. I’m from almost every city in Georgia, because I’ve moved around a lot. I love to explore, and in every way. I enjoy blogging and have recently found out actually how passionate I am about getting my voice heard. My blog on  WordPress (decidingwhathappens) touches on the different relationships and interactions that I as a young woman experience, in hopes of it helping someone else out. 

Life presents its fair share of trials and tribulations, but also an unprecedented amount of joys, triumphs and victories. There are days when the smallest accomplishment seems like one’s greatest achievement and greatest day. Then there are others when the hard work, long days and sleepless nights finally pay off and one is rewarded for their diligence. Accomplishments, in which, one shares with others in the hope that they’ll be excited as they are. However, more and more that’s not the case.

Somehow, someway a spirit of envy and jealousy has come in and settled. No, this is not true for all or for all situations, but it can be said about many. Scripture tells us to not be envy or jealous of anyone. As we are told to not only not desire one’s possessions, but also their life and/or lifestyle. We often times see the glory and don’t know the testimony. Seemingly, having tunnel vision and not possessing the whole picture. Therefore, it behooves us to operate and live in the purpose God has for our lives.

At the beginning of this message it says, “It’s time to celebrate one another!” And it’s long overdue. One of the greatest hindrances, I believe, is our inability to celebrate one another with sincerity. I’ve seen, over time, the false happiness or joy many present when an individual achieves success. Folks smile in that person’s face, pat them on the back, may even give them a gift and take a picture. Only later to bad mouth that person with a false truth due to jealousy and bitterness. My Nana says to me often, “I’m genuinely happy and proud of you. Not because you’re mine, but because you are.”

That little statement, to her, is one of the greatest supplies of energy and stamina when I feel exhausted or stressed. Phrases like that do not aide simply because they’re nice or come from one you love, but because they’re genuine. People tend to think genuineness can be faked, but that is a lie. The old saying, “fake it, till you make it” need not be applied in this case.

We are living in a day and age when the weight of life and everyday trials are causing people to think negatively. The everyday tasks which once seemed attainable and manageable now seem so far away and dreadful for many. But, today we’re going to change that. Today, we’re going to change someone’s life not just through our private prayers, but through our uttered words.

No longer will we allow jealousy to hold us back from a sincere happiness. No longer will we allow bitterness to hold us back from sincere gratitude. No longer will we let pride persist, instead humility will abide.

So, with that being said, I want you to know this. Not only do I love each of you fully, I’m Godly proud of you. Not because you’re mine, but because you are. Continue to go forward in life and trusting fully in the Lord and His plan for your life. Do not allow the trials of life to overtake you or shift you, but stand firm in Christ. Know and remember, the joy of the Lord is your strength. Above all, seek Him first in all you do and watch the blessings begin to come forth. I celebrate you today. I love you and may God’s blessings be upon you.

– J.B.II

About Jamar:

With this past weekend being the football homecoming for my college, there’s been a lot of sex, alcohol, parties, the whole bit involved. It really opened my eyes to both sides of this spectrum.

One side says: have a good time, enjoy your twenties, and don’t settle down too early.

The other side says: Watch your body count, or no sex at all, find that Prince Charming, stay at home, dress like a nun. Wait, wait, wait.

Although I feel like at times I choose to live my life conservatively, I am not at all for judging others for doing what they want to do with their own life and bodies. 

I had a friend to tell me that I was unhappy because I wasn’t in a committed relationship and the things that I choose to partake in should be with my “boyfriend.” I thoroughly explained to her that I am the happiest that I’ve been in a year and that I’m having a blast right now. I am able to wake up with a clear mind and all I have to think about is myself. It feels great that I’m not spending extra money on someone that did not deserve it like I had done in the past year.

I like being able to choose and I like to take my time to figure what it is that I want and I feel amazingly happy doing it. This is not to say that I don’t want to settle down with someone as well, but I know there’s a reason for every little moment and in this moment I want to be grateful for it and live in it. 

I do despise how there’s never an in between. How come I’m not able to be a woman who loves God and to treat people well and to live a good life, while enjoying sex? I also hate the double standard on this issue. Women are always always always told to be perfect little flowers and I’m honestly sick of it. Men are commended for how many girls they’ve hooked up with, and are even encouraged to hit certain goals.

Minoring in Sociology has been such an eye opening experience for me. There’s a need for studying that all of these thoughts that people have about others sexuality is all socially constructed. Instead of evolving into a new era, people are so fixated on being content with judgement and fear.

I honestly wanted to write this to possibly reassure someone out there in the Internet world. I’m a 21 year old woman and I’m in my fourth year in college. I love God with all of my heart and I know he loves me and I don’t doubt it. I don’t feel like I’m letting him down by living my life in any way. I party, I enjoy being sexy and confident, and I am a spontaneous young woman. I put good things into my body to live a long and healthy life, and I work out often.

I treat people really well and I have a lot of people that often thank me for it. I no longer carry shame for sex and I know there’s someone reading this that’s incredibly shocked or disappointed. I will not accept judgement at all. It’s not allowed here. I’m learning so much about myself and my body through an endless exploration to fully know myself. 

My advice:

Don’t let society (wow, such a broad term to me) or even your friends right next to you place sexual shame on you inevitably because you’re a woman. Don’t let words like slut, whore, or even the concept of “that hoe over there” scare you from what you want. However, do thoroughly decide what it is that you want for your life. You are the only one that will be with you for ever so you don’t want to disappoint yourself.

You also have the right to change your mind. You’re not going to not find your “Prince Charming” (my mom always says this term haha) because you’re doing the same things that he probably is doing as well. Take every little moment in. Some moments you might hate but there’ll be a lot you’ll love. And that’s not sexually, that’s just to say that even trying a new food is a worthy option. You don’t have to mold yourself into this one person or category. Get to know yourself…

Accept yourself.

About DeAmber J Patterson: 

This means I believe in an omniscient God, who is the only god, who made all that we see and even more that we don’t see. I also believe that this God sent His one and only perfect son, Jesus, to die a brutal death as a sacrifice for human race’s sin so we can spend eternity with Him in heaven that I also believe exists… spiritually, at least. Becoming a Christian is simply truly repenting for your sins and accepting that Jesus Christ’s death is enough to save you.

For me, the most important and exciting part of being a Christian is the Jesus part. The idea of a perfect person dying for me is enough to give me chills and bring me to tears, because let’s face it, I’m anywhere from perfect, yet this perfect person died for me?

That’s what I believe wholeheartedly.

So, what does it look like for a 20 (almost 21) year-old college student to be a Christian? There are the obvious outward things that I don’t do: I don’t spend my nights drinking and my days hungover, I don’t blaze up (do people still say that?) before class, I don’t have sex with anyone, and I don’t cuss every other word. Honestly, I don’t want to do these things. But I do want to spend time with the God who made everything we see and more, I want to read the Bible, and I want to live a life that will last longer than nights at the bars ever will.

Then there are the inward feelings that come with being a 20 year-old Christian: like the feeling of knowing I am loved enough for someone to die for me, how I no longer feel anxiety every day about what I should do after receiving that coveted diploma, how even when I go through a breakup or drama with friends I know there is someone faithful to stay with me through it, and when I do something I know I shouldn’t have there is unfathomable grace to take away the pain.

Being a Christian isn’t about following a list of rules, but about experiencing a love that will last longer and satisfy more than anything in this world.

Because of these feelings I get to experience and the facts I believe are true, I choose to follow Jesus and his example. 1 Timothy 1:5 says “the aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” (ESV). A Christian’s aim is to love with a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith.

Because I follow Jesus, I aim to love everyone that I come in contact with. Because I am also human, I fail to do these things more often than I would like, but that just means I work again and again to love and live better than I did before.

This is what I mean when I say I am a Christian. I praise God and I strive to live and love like Jesus. And everything that comes with it is worth it.

Each and every student at Georgia Southern has an open-ended opportunity to be a part of the RC and get their conversation started. The mission is simple: to ensure that your voice may be shared and your opinions heard. If talking about the rights of humans versus the rights of animals is your passion–let it be heard, if you’d like to explain why it’s acceptable to wear slip-ons and athletic shorts every single day–let it be heard, from video game crazes to thoughts on marriage equality, here in the Reflector Community, each opinion is invaluable.

As GSU students, and more importantly, thinking and active members of the world community it is imperative that our conversations be heard by those who are willing to listen. Let this not be your personal diary, let it be an informed and opinionated blog to share your experiences and ideas with the community around you. As a generation of progressive-minded adults it is our responsibility to unite and reflect on life’s many opportunities; however, it is our moral responsibility to also discuss the hard stuff.

What you have to say matters, so let’s start the conversation.

Macy Holloway,

Reflector Community Editor